I am constant //
It's December 31st. The day people get together to celebrate a new year. Many people are posting how terrible 2016 was, as if the year itself was somehow cursed and the turning of a clock and calendar date will make things better.
I felt that way today.
I thought about giving the bird to 2016 and closing off my heart to it all together.
But, that's not exactly the most mature way to handle it. And as painful as 2016 was, at least the second half, it was also full of some stunning and glorious moments.
January 1st: Snowboarding with my husband in waist deep powder in the woods at Jay Peak. Best way to start off the year.
February 12th: A first ever successful "Black Dress Gala" for Love146, where my team and I raised over $12k to support the work of ending child trafficking and sexual exploitation - and looked really good doing it.
April 16th: Hiked The Belknap Ridge Trail (15 miles) with my amazing friend Coleen and the dogs
May 12th: Bryant and I were invited as guests to the Love146 Red Dress Gala to receive their "Abolitionist In Action" award
May 29th: Fourth successful "tread on trafficking" hike up Mount Major, which raised $8k for Love146
July 2nd: Organized, decorated, and celebrated (with alot of awesome people) the wedding of my Nephew Casey and his GORGEOUS wife Meredith. And the amazing fact that ALL of the Abbotts were home and I get to spend time with them <3
July 9th: Help organize and officiate (my first!) the wedding of two incredible humans Jonathan and Amanda Lamper. Not to mention the AMAZING dance party that followed.
July 31st: Found out we were pregnant!!! The overwhelming sensation of crying and laughing all at the same from shock and tangible joy. For two weeks I was aware of my baby, and each day was magic.
August 12th: The Wooden Rabbits first successful pop up shop and a fantastic birthday party to honor my mother turning 70 and getting to share the news of our baby with our family.
August 13th: The day I held my baby boy and God spoke his name: Obadiah Thomas Keefe
September 2nd: Got to spend 8 days hosting Laci, Joel, and Anchor Hill <3
September 10th: Celebrating my father-in-law and his now wife on their wedding day on Catalina Island (Thanks for letting Bryant and I sleep on the sail boat, such a highlight!)
October 10th: My 27th birthday, my husband took my hiking on another 4,000 footer to mark off our list, got a a couple tattoos, and had dinner at the same restaurant we had our wedding reception.
And all of November and December were full of family, festive celebrations, and friends (and new baby!)
That is how I want to remember 2016.
Though with a very tired heart, I can say I am very thankful for this year.
Ephesians 4 says "God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ.
I have learned more this year of this rich mercy and great love than ever before. I have grown bold and eager to share it. To tell of His goodness, of His faithfulness. To offer the hope I hold tightly to, to express the joy He fills my life with, and for others to know, it's not some secret, it's not some rule book to be held under -
He is a river, washing away the doubts, the fears, the self-hatred and abuse. His love is a consuming fire, burning away anything that would hinder it from over taking you. His grace is a rich wine, one sip is intoxicating, and the more you drink, the more you know you can never again live without Him.
Though these days have been painful, waves of grief that I never knew the human heart could withstand, His arms of courage and strength have held me afloat. His whispers of comfort and compassion have been the breath in my lungs. He has spoken to me in dreams, I have seen the face of my son in a vision, I have heard his heart beat in the wind. And I know, in the deepest places in me, that God is good, God is faithful, God is strategic, God is my stronghold, God is trustworthy, and He is constant.
&thenHesaid: when all is out of your control, rest. When nothing remains the same, my goodness is the constant hope to keep your eyes fixed on.